It's Okay If You're Not Somebody Else's First Choice

It's okay if you're not somebody else's first choice.


The world is often harsh.

No matter how much we try to cope up, the toll of this world's broken structure always catch us to our core in so many different ways. You might find yourself stressed with all the news, the social unrest in this time of crisis and even struggle with loneliness when you're quarantined on your own.

When you're with a person who loves you, you have a good amount of strength to endure. At the end of the day, it's a great feeling knowing there's a person who tries to understand what you're going through.

However, most people are walking heartaches. They have no one to cry on to. They keep their garbage to themselves and sometimes hurt others in the process because no one understands them.

We long for attention because it approves our self-worth and satisfies the basic need of companionship. When you feel valued, you shine like the stars no matter the darkness.

At the light of my recent melancholic attack, the Lord is teaching something in my heart. When I feel tired and numb, when circumstances are going against my favor and when I could not depend on someone else's attention, I have to pause and confront myself with these truths:

  • It's okay If I am not someone else's first choice.
  • It's alright to feel alone.
  • Nothing's wrong in feeling depression.

Here's why..

People Are Forgetful

Our interactions with people affect us. If we feel neglected, condemned or forgotten, we tend to respond by feeling unloved. I learned that people are forgetful. It's easy for them to stray from their purposes in life. Even the most dependable person we have could turn us down in times of need.

I learned to be patient with people and understand that even my closest friends and family could not be there for me when I need them. It's alright because they might be fighting their own battles that needs their full focus as well. I can't take it against them because for sure, they want to help me in any way when they can. I learned to accept this fact and just be there for them, when they need me instead.

Feelings Are Not Facts

Our souls are imperfect. Emotions are part of our soul. This means that our feelings are like shifting shadows and are affected by pain and fear. It is important that we acknowledge this fact so we don't beat ourselves when we feel so down. I learned that our feelings should not dictate how we see the world. If we feel alone, we tend to shut the outside world and think that no one cares. If we are in pain, it doesn't mean there's no comfort that awaits. We just have to learn how to contain them.

I learned that feeling negative emotions are not bad. However, we suffer when we choose to linger on them.

Ashes For Beauty

The ever good news is that no matter what I feel or no matter how people treat me, there is a secret place of refuge where I could lay down all my burdens. His love for me will always be absolute. He knows how I am formed. He remembers that I am dust and yet, He patiently love on me every step of the way.

You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. | Psalms 56:8

He never belittle my circumstances or invalidate my feelings. No words needed when He comforts me. He is my constant source of joy and that joy has a name-- Jesus!

I have learned that joy is birthed not only through happiness but in every surrendered emotion. So when I come to Him, I tell Him that I don't like what I am feeling and I want His atmosphere over me. He brings heaven down! He is more than willing. He understands how complex I am and yet, His love knows no boundary. Every weight becomes light in His arms. I am undone with that kind of love. He is more real to me when I ran to Him. There, I am always loved. There, I see people in a new perspective and learn to love and honor them more.

For whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and He knows everything. | 1 John 3:20

That is how I can endure the day.

That's why…

  • It's okay If I am not someone else's first choice. I am God's first choice!
  • It's alright to feel alone. He is always with me regardless of what I feel!
  • Nothing's wrong in feeling depression. I can exchange it for His peace and joy!

The more our emotions are yielded to the Lord, the more we receive healing and our spirit can move in greater proportions for the sons and daughters of God are not led by their emotions but by His Spirit 😊🔥

Beloved, in these times of crisis and unprecented events, I invite you to run to Jesus and know the depths of His love. You deserve to have your ashes be exchanged for beauty. You deserve to feel so loved.

With Him in our daily lives, Graham Cooke beautifully put it this way, "There are no bad or good days now, only days of grace." His grace will sustain you.

Pray with me if you need to lift off some burdens to the Lord:

Dear Daddy God,

I come to you with a fragile heart. I don't like what I am feeling now and it causes me to feel hurt and isolate myself from people. Will you take this heaviness from me and teach me how to know You more and become more like You? Fill me up with Your joy, Holy Spirit. Teach me how to love more. Let me experience the fullness of life that You promised.  Fill me up with Your atmosphere. Let me see Your glory. Thank You for loving me and calling me Your own child.  I receive your love, joy and  peace that passes all understanding in Jesus' name. Amen!


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